Every Merchant Account company claims to do the same thing:  We’ll set you up to accept credit cards for the lowest rates guaranteed!  I’ve worked in the credit card industry for some time now so I know how it all works.  I’m going to give it to you straight.  If you’re a new business, you’re going to be getting some high HIGH rates from regular Merchant Account Provider because you don’t know any better.  As you grow your business, you’ll learn that you can lower those rates by shopping around with other Merchant Account companies.  Each company will take a little off of your previous rate to save you some money, but they’re still making the most possible.  The one Merchant Account company that I trust because they’re friends and just great people is Platinum Acceptance, LLC.

This company isn’t like the rest.  They actually care about your business and not how many transactions you’re going to be doing each day.  Their motto is “We only succeed if your business succeeds,” so they really want what’s best for you.  Whether you’re accepting credit cards yet or not, switch over to these guys.  It’ll be the best decision you made for your business.  They do free reprogramming, free applications, free start-up… It’s just putting your business in a better situation.

The Application Process is extremely easy and takes about 10-15 minutes.  If you really wanted to be taking credit cards tomorrow, you could with Platinum Acceptance.  Once you get approved, they will let you know and provide you with the terminal or your eCommerce login information.  Another great thing about this company is that they are a High-Risk Merchant Account Provider.  SO, if you don’t have the best credit, that’s not a problem.  Your approved is based on your type of business rather than your credit scores.

It doesn’t matter what type of business you have:  Internet, Phone Order, Retail, Restaurant, Wireless, Mail Order, TeleCheck… No matter what it is, they can and will help you.  Give them a call at 1-(707)-P-Accept or click the button below and fill out an application for free.  You won’t be disappointed.  You have my word.

As someone once told me:  ”Baseball is a religion.  Fenway Park is the church.  Don’t let the priests and alter boys get in the way.”  Well, the priests and alter boys are fucking up my season!  I can’t stand the ownership and management, and it’s effecting all Boston Red Sox fans, not just me.

All of Boston is disappointed with the current situation: Last place in the AL East.  We’re below .500 and playing like we don’t give a shit.  Checking out the standings, I remember when it used to be reversed.  Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays and Baltimore Orioles stuck in the basement, Toronto Bluejays stuck in ‘No Man’s Land’ in the middle, and then the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox battling at the top.  What happened!?  Who’s is to blame?!

Well there’s two options: (1) Players OR (2) Management.  That’s it.  Pick one.  Don’t give me that “both” crap.  If you had to pick a side, who are you going with?  I’m going with Management.  I understand you can say the players are the ones actually playing the game, or the players aren’t motivated, or trying… Whatever you want to say, those things can be fixed by MANAGEMENT.  I’m a HUGE Francona fan and supporter so maybe that’s why I’m really trashing Ownership, but Bobby V, Ben Cherington, and Larry Lucchino are garbage.  We have the 3rd highest payroll in the MLB and these are the current standings.  I said I was going to give them 30 days before I made a serious judgement.  Well, times up.  We’re 12-18 with no signs of life on this team.

I understand Bobby V has nothing to do with the collapse last September, BUT he is in control now and can right this ship.  Players aren’t motived? Motivate them! Light a fucking fire under their ass.  Get tossed from a game.  DO SOMETHING.  Right now Alan Alda, I mean Media Whore, I mean Bobby V is just sitting in the back of the dugout, arms crossed with 1 finger on his chin going: “I have no idea what to do right now or with this team in general.”  He’s just an old man that can only do media and can’t connect with players like he used to.  I think the best way to really dive into this debate is showing how it all started on Facebook:

I found myself rooting against the Red Sox the other night.  How the fuck does that happen?  I’ve been raised a Red Sox die-hard.  I remember Mike “The Gator” Greenwell rolling me and my best friend a baseball in the early 90′s when we were sitting on the Sox dugout at our 1st game ever.  Since then I’ve paid attention to every little move the team has made and rocked their gear like it was tattooed on me.  The other night I was rooting for the Kansas City Royals to win… Felix Doubront shouldn’t have been in the game and Bobby V watched him walk batters and give up hits like he had money on the Royals and was trying to loose the game!  I wanted Alex Gordon to hit a grand slam to tie it and then win.  I’m so embarrassed with this team and to call myself a Red Sox fan right now…

This season is going to suck no matter what.  If the Red Sox continue to suck and don’t make the playoffs, it’ll be ok.  Management will change.  Bobby V, the ass clown media whore will be gone, and we can start fresh next year.  If the Red Sox rally and make the playoffs, I’ll be happy for the players, but it’ll suck because management might stay the same.  I just don’t see a possible positive outcome this season.

I think some of this has to do with the atmosphere created at Fenway Park for the 100th Who Gives A Shit Anniversary.

Fenway isn’t the same Fenway that it used to be.  It used to be filled with die-hard fans that were there to only root for the home team.  Now, a trip to Fenway Park is like going on a family picnic or to an amusement park.  A bunch of “pink hats” pretending to be fans, not knowing anything about the team or players, and just showing up to sing “Sweet Caroline” in the 8th inning.  I don’t understand the random tradition of singing that song in the 8th.  It’s fun I guess, but what if the Red Sox are losing?  Pink Hats don’t care!  They’ll sing no matter what the situation is.  That song should be played (if it must) only when the Red Sox are winning.  I know the song or the constant “wave” going around the park doesn’t have anything to do with them winning or losing, but it’s pissing me off and it’s not helping me root for this team.

Who are you blaming for all this?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Definitely thought this was blog worthy… Most people have see the original version of Walk Off The Earth’s cover of “Somebody That I Used To Know” seeing as it’s almost at 100,000,000 hits on YouTube! The parody is pretty hilarious after watching the original.

Watch the original then the parody below:

Parody of “Somebody That I Used To Know”

The “klinky” noise…

It was a popular drink freshmen year of college… “Sully Juice” – I used to get Jolly Ranchers, cheap vodka and sell Poland Spring bottle of it to students.  The entrepreneur in me was released!  It’s really easy to make and here are the steps… go nuts!

The Materials:

I bought more than I actually needed: a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka and a 3.75 pound bag of Jolly Ranchers. With this, I could easily have made two batches (that is, two flasks in each Jolly Ranchers flavor) and still have had a bit left.

Here’s what you actually need:

• A regular 750 milliliter bottle of vodka. A liter of vodka (see comment here). You may have to buy a 1.75 liter bottle to get it. No need to spend much on the vodka – just choose one that goes down reasonably smoothly, for minimal interference with the intense Jolly Rancher flavor. I used Svedka, and it was very nice.
• 12 Jolly ranchers in each flavor you want to infuse (that’s 60 Jolly ranchers all together). The 3.75 pound bag I bought had at least 40 of each flavor, so a couple of pounds of assorted Jolly Ranchers ought to do it.
• Five flasks to pour it in. (Since everyone always asks, I got these beautiful flasks fromThe Container Store. The ones I used hold 8.5 ounces, which is a nice amount.
• Optional: a funnel to assist with pouring the vodka into the narrow necks on the flasks.
• Optional: something like a plastic sheet or newspaper over your counter, because little bits of Jolly Rancher fall out of the wrappers and stick to everything.

Step 1: Sort the Jolly Ranchers

Separate your Jolly Ranchers by color/flavor.

That’s watermelon, apple and cherry in front, with grape and blue raspberry in the back. As you can see, you don’t necessarily get equal numbers of every flavor in an assortment bag. I got more of the grape than any other flavor, and less of blue raspberry. But even with the blue raspberry, I had more than enough to do the whole experiment twice.

Step 2: Put Jolly Ranchers in flasks

Put twelve Jolly Ranchers of each flavor into each flask. Yes, you can put them directly into the flask instead of into a mixing container. The reason? Because you’re not going to have to skim anything out of it, like you do with waxy candies like Skittles. Every bit of the Jolly Ranchers – which are mostly corn syrup, sugar, flavorings and colors – belongs in the final product here. And that’s why this process is so much easier than a lot of candy infusions.

Once you’re done, you should have five flasks with beautiful colored candies in the bottom.

Step 3: Pour the vodka

Next up, you pour the vodka into the flasks over the candies. Stick a funnel (optional) into the neck of each flask, and pour your vodka down it. I filled mine to the top of the neck.

As you can see, they start taking on the color of the vodka immediately, as it begins breaking down the candies. There’s no need to shake them or anything – just let them sit for about eight to twelve hours, and all the candy will dissolve completely with no mess, and nothing stuck to the glass.

Your almost finished product will look like this:

I had been worried that the watermelon and cherry would come out too close to the same color. But as the picture here shows, the cherry is a nice deep red and the watermelon comes out a lighter red – sort of a coral, or a cross between pink and orange. Even next to each other, they don’t look like the same color.

Step 4: Chill!

Put your flasks into the freezer and let them chill for a couple of hours. Now they’re really ready for use.

 

Some of the best sexual drinking games can be done either in an intimate setting with only you and your girlfriend or you can make it a party and have multiple people. The ten most commonly played sexual drinking games are:

1. Nine cans of beer or the floor. In this game you will need about nine cans of beer per person, (NOTE: not everyone will finish this game) a shot glass and a time keeper. Every minute for 100 minutes you take a shot of beer. At first that may seem easy enough but when you add it up it comes out to about nine beers in just over an hour and a half. If you choose to not take a shot you do have an alternative. You may remove one article of clothing to be decided upon by a fellow player of your choice. This game is best played with people you trust as you may experience sever drunkeness or nudeness fairly quickly.
2. Chutes and ladders. Yes even a simple children’s game is no longer safe. This game is very simple. Chose the shot of your choice. When you go up a ladder you take a shot, when you go down a chute you take off an article of clothing of your choice.
3. Flip Sip or Strip. This game is best played with at least three people. The first player flips a coin and calls heads or tells while it is in the air, if they call it correctly they pass the coin to the right and they are safe. If they call the coin incorrectly then they must choose either sip (take a shot) or strip (remove one article of clothing). The only catch is that you can not pick sip or strip more than two times in a row.
4. Go Fish. Very simply deal the deck like you normally would. Each player gets seven cards. When you ask for a card and are told :Go Fish” You must take a shot. If you ask for a card and receive the match then the person who you asked must take off an article of clothing.
5. High or Low . For this game you must have a dealer. The dealer will put down a card and you must guess if the next card will be higher or lower. If you are correct you get to tell one player of your choice to take a shot or remove an article of clothing of their choice. If you guess incorrectly then you must take a shot.
6. Ice tray quarters. Color the top half of a double sided ice tray a different color from the bottom half. Play like you would normal quarters. Designate the four different compartments as 1 you take a shot, 2 someone of your choice takes a shot, 3 you remove an article of clothing, 4 someone of your choosing removes an article of clothing.
7. Guess or strip. Each player is dealt one card which they cannot look at. Holding the card in front of you for everyone else to see you must guess which card you have. How many you are off is the number of shots you must take. The person who was the furthest off must remove an article of clothing.
8. James Bond. Turn on any James Bond movie. Every time someone says “James” drink two shots, when someone says “Bond” drink one shot. Every time someone says “James Bond” remove an article of clothing.
9. Aces. Put a deck of card in the middle of the table. Go around the table and each player draws one card. If you draw a black card you take one shot, a red card gets two shots. If you draw an ace, king, or queen of any color you remove an article of clothing.
10. Thumb Master. Someone is designated the Thumb Master. thought the night you will place your thumb on the table and the very last person to see it has to either remove an article of clothing or take a shot, which ever you choose. They however become the new thumb master and this continues thought the night.

 

With all the traffic my new website Gronking.CO is getting, I’ve partnered up with the guys at TShirtTimes.com who make AWESOME clothing, especially Patriots gear.  So if you would like to get a new t-shirt for the Superbowl this Sunday, it’s not too late.  They’re extremely affordable and have fast shipping!

USE THE PROMO CODE “GronkingCO” to get an additional 10% OFF EVERYTHING!!!

Click Images to view the store!!!

USE THE PROMO CODE “GronkingCO” to get an additional 10% OFF EVERYTHING!!!

 

Are people seriously wearing these?  The real name for the trend it “Drop Crotch” Jeans, but they look like they are made for people who enjoy dumping in their pants:

I mean, back in 5th grade, I used to rock the Jnco Jeans – where the bigger, baggier, and most difficult to walk in jeans were the coolest.  I had some STUPID jeans that were difficult to walk in (so I was pretty cool), but that was the fad… I can’t see “Drop Crotch” catching on.  It just looks too stupid.

Also, people today are all about looking sexy and showing off more skin.  Drop Crotch is far from sexy, and makes you look like you just shit yourself.  End of story.  If I see you in public wearing these, I will make fun of you. 100%.

Remember these bad boys (Jnco Jeans):

1. Conan

I honestly don’t even think it’s debatable.  Conan takes the #1 spot easily because he’s real.  If a joke absolutely tanks, he’s not going to fake like it was good (which is what everyone else does).  He comes out and says it sucked!  Conan also has great interaction with the audience.  If you have a ridiculous sign, or say something crazy out loud, he’ll 100% acknowledge it.

2. Jimmy Fallon

Hear me out… Jimmy SUCKED at first and most of his old SNL skits are pretty terrible, but this late night show has grown to be one of my favorites.  Fallon has the best audience games out of anyone.  The show also has the best music.  You can’t beat The Roots, don’t even try.  (Side note: I actually shared the stage with The Roots back in college when my band won “Battle of the Bands.” Great guys!)  I think Fallon also does the best job of using social media.  His hashtags/trending segments are solid.

3.  Jay Leno

I don’t know why Jay Leno is #3, but I watch him more than anyone below… He’s got that chin that could kill someone, which is weird, but his show isn’t bad.  His joke aren’t great, but he has some decent segments like the ‘What’s on EBay’ and ‘Headlines’ for things in newspapers.

4. Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy was awesome on The Man Show, but I just find him really annoying now.  One segment that’s always pretty funny though is “This Week in Unnecessary Censorship”

5. Everyone else…

George Lopez:  Hell no!

David Letterman: Can’t stand him

Craig Ferguson:  Haven’t given him a chance, but not feeling the accent

Definitely forgetting others…

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Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.
—-

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached